STORY

True' Doctor Stories

"At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient."

"One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart,".....READ MORE

A PERFECT DAY

• Her Perfect Day...

  0815 Wake up to hugs and kisses.

  0830 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday.

  0845 Breakfast in bed - freshly squeezed orange juice and

  0915 Soothing hot bath with frangipani oil.

  1000 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.

  1030 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry. 1200 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe.

  1245 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notice she has gained 7kg

  1300 Shopping with friends - unlimited credit.

  1500 Nap.

  1600 3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card from a secret admirer.

  1615 Light workout at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.

  1730 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror.

  1930 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing with compliments received from other diners/guests.

  2200 Hot shower (alone).

  2240 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.

  2315 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.

  His Perfect Day...

  0600 Alarm.

  0615 Blow job.

• .........READ MORE

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